Ps 38:5-10
5 My wounds are foul and festering because of my foolishness.
6 I am troubled, I am bowed down greatly; I go mourning all the day long.
7 For my loins are full of inflammation, and there is no soundness in my flesh.
8 I am feeble and severely broken; I groan because of the turmoil of my heart.
9 Lord, all my desire is before You; and my sighing is not hidden from You.
10 My heart pants, my strength fails me; as for the light of my eyes, it also has gone from me.
(NKJ)
Have you ever fallen into a season in your life of great trial or suffering? A time which is beyond anything you have ever experienced before. Where the freedom you once enjoyed has been swallowed by a great fiery trial. Since these trials are so difficult to express with words it is useless to compare or describe it in order to give someone an understanding of them. Yet they are a very real experience. And to those whom the Lord has allowed such a trial it will appear to them the utmose deepest, hardest, and impossible emotional, mental, and physical fight they have ever had in their lives.
I have touch this place and have also come out on the other side. It is painful process and one that is the most unpleasant of all experiences in this life. I have wondered why the Lord would allow anyone to suffer through such painful trials. But it is in loving grace of my Father that I have been reminded of the multitudes of saints whom God has chosen to walk in the firey pit. This psalm is no exception. The whole psalm is a painful description of suffering endured during this season. Yet in the end the writer never took away his hope and trust in the Lord His God. And ends the psalm with a call to One and only one who can bring him through unto to salvation.
What is the mystery behind this process is the change one goes through after such a trial. If you have ever aksed God to change you or make you more like Jesus then their is way that seems right to man but God must order these steps. It is not a prayer that you can bring about yourself. If you want to be more like Jesus Christ that everything that is of you must be purged, broken, and burned out. It is a perfect work that only God can do that will produce the transformation that you have prayed for in your life. And to do this work God has chosen to allow trials and deep bottomless and fiery trials are no exception. And the evidence is in the likeness of Christ that appears in your heart, mind, and soul after such a trial. Yet even as the apostle Paul penned "Not that I have attained...yet I press on toward the upward call of God in Christ Jesus."
As a follower of Christ I have never wavered from the moment I turned my life over to Jesus to want to be like Him. But how does one really become like Christ? It is not by my works or following the law. No. It is in and through brokenness. This is where I see the Son of God so vividly demonstrating to me the meaning of becoming Christ like. It is not in my deeds, promises, or prayers. It is not by supernatural intervention. It is through brokenness. For to be like my Lord and Savior I must be prepared to become an offering unto my Father in heaven for others. It is these words that Jesus spoke at the last supper that struck the cord as to a possible explanation into the purposes of God to allow such excrutiating trials in our lives. When Jesus said "This is My body which is broken for you..." I could see now that our brokeness is in turn a process by which we may be able to offer ourselves unto others. And just as the propet Isaiah wrote "And by his strips we are healed..." Our strips can be used by God to heal others. If we are the body of Christ on earth then we too will bare the marks of Christ. We too should know the fellowship of His suffering. And if we have been chosen and trusted to endure such trials then we are being prepared to offer our bodies which are broken just as Christ did. We through our cross are being transformed into the likeness of Christ. And through our brokennes Christ can offer us to those who He desires to bring healing who are suffering. It may not make sense...but neither did the crucixion of Jesus. At least until we called upon the One who was lifted up for us. Then we understood the power behind the blood, the strength in the offering, and healing in His suffering.
